Tales from the Single Relationship Expert: Dating while Vegetarian/Vegan/Pescatarian Whatever!
Dating while Vegetarian/ Vegan/ Pescatarian Whatever!
Dating can be a challenge regardless but, when you decide to make some changes to better your life it seems that adding layers to that self-care package can quickly turn your cash cow into a niche market. How difficult could it be to find someone who is smart, ambitious, has a great sense of humor, magnetic personality, takes care of their health (mind, body and spirit) and financially responsible? How about a little reciprocity, anyone?
On my journey to becoming my best self I have hit many road blocks when it comes to dating men. Those who are frustrated or annoyed by you because you don’t seem to bitch about all your problems and handle them like a boss. (Please find your balls Sir signed upper mgmt.)Those who are financially in shambles who either can’t be honest about it and hide when they can’t keep up with lavish dates or those who are honest about it and think they should be rewarded for their honesty by trying to help me spend my funds. FOH!
As I have been able to weed out the bad seeds I have found that being a foodie with limitations seem to be frowned upon by those who have synonymously connected living their best life with artery clogging foods, drinking in excess and not exercising at all. I mean not a push up, pull up, light jog, nothing.
I have also noticed that when I say things like “no I’ve never puffed the ganja or I’m not a good spades player.” The reaction is a quick wide eyed stare followed by a slow head shake as if my “Black Card” should have been revoked years ago.
Believe it or not, I get more of an animated reaction when it comes to things that are food related. When I say I’m allergic to shellfish it’s “Whaaaat that’s crazy, so you’ve never had crab? No shrimp? Damn you can’t eat lobster?” The look of disappointment is intense. It’s like they have premonitions of being sad because I won’t be able to share the love of crab fest or enjoy an authentic New Orleans gumbo. The side eye given reveals their worry that foods on island vacations have already been cancelled and they can’t risk their future children’s taste buds with me this way. I have to be honest I never saw the joy of eating with a bib as an adult anyway.
Now here comes the niche. When I say I don’t eat meat I get one of three reactions. “Wow good for you!”, “Oh okay what about chicken?” “You still can cook it though right like you’re not all weird about it?”
I have to admit the smell of bacon or a nice grilled steak still makes me want to inhale deeply but, I won’t engage. Those used to be my favorite. I gave up meat after a 30 day no meat challenge. I remember trying to eat chicken again. I took it easy by having chicken soup and I got so sick. I vomited for 2 days straight. I couldn’t hold anything down. So we know what happens when a certain food makes you sick. You just stay away from it for a long time, two years and counting. I had already given up pork and red meat so I had no choice but to really appreciate my veggies.
Sharing my story on a date helps the guy understand that it’s not a trend it’s an actual lifestyle choice. I’ll have a piece of fish every now and then but even with that I’m very particular. The point of it all is so I remain healthy and not have to take a bunch of medication as I age. Maybe one day I can say I’m doing it strictly for the animals. I have a slight love affair with leather so it may take a while.
When dating someone who is vegan/ vegetarian you should know a few tips. Listen to what they are saying to understand their choice, not to try to convince them to convert back or to defend why you are a carnivore for life. Finding places to eat are already difficult. Taking your Vegan or Vegetarian date to a Brazilian Restaurant may not be a great idea. No one wants to be forced to eat a side salad and sweet potato fries. They taste better as an option.
Now I’m not saying you always have to go to a Vegan restaurant but, it would be nice to pick a restaurant that has a vegetarian option or at the very least has something to offer besides a vegetable medley. Here’s a wild thought let them pick the restaurant and introduce you to a new way of eating plant based. Who is anti-veggie I mean really?
All I’m saying is being a vegetarian/ Vegan is not a cult. Well not for most of us anyway. It’s just about making better choices for an individual’s health. I don’t look at my date’s plate with a wide eye stare shake my head and say “I wonder if that cow was depressed when he left his family to be slaughtered” just saying.
My point is I don’t have my health journey all figured out just yet but, the parts that I do have a knack for just be mindful of it. I can pick out a dish pretty much anywhere but, making it difficult to choose every time or not giving my suggestions a try will quickly end the breaking of bread between us. At that point it’s more than food, its lack of thoughtfulness, there’s no compassion and the listening skills are basically trash. So be considerate, eat a veggie and Happy Dating.