Tales from the Single Relationship Expert: Dating Men that make Less Money...There's levels to t
Dating Men that make less money...There's levels to this!
Traditionally speaking the man is suppose to be the head of household, breadwinner, the provider right? Back in the day the man worked while the woman stayed home and tended to the house and children. He brought home the bacon and it was the wife’s job to fry it up. My oh my how times have changed. Now women are the head of household and quite possibly a vegan. Go figure!
Now don’t get me wrong there are still some households who represent that very dynamic. I have noticed that even the role of the “House Wife” is not the same. Many of these house wives have their own businesses and are making tons of money allowing them to also provide financially for the home. In fact women in general are making so much money as they are top level executives, own their own businesses and have a shit load of power. You will hear more often that these powerful women are dating or married to men who make less money than they do and don’t have a problem with it.
I can’t help but wonder about the power struggles if there are any at all. To quote the Queen Bee herself Lil Kim “Money, Power, Respect is the key to life.” In relationships like these communication is imperative to the survival of the union. I noticed that when the women makes more in the relationship, it is not something she shouts from the rooftop. It’s more on a need to know when trying to prove a point. As for the man, when their women makes more than them it’s not something that is bragged about either. It’s almost hidden in a sense. Respecting each other’s roles in the union and not making one feel inferior to the other will make a happy life for all involved. The definition of partnership really has to come into play.
Now of course before you get to marriage you have to date right? Let’s talk about the dating phase. So many times I see these quotes floating around social media saying “I need loyalty, I need trust, I need a hug, I can financially support myself...yeah yeah yeah. It seems to me that statement is a little too vague. The “F” boys feed off of that and thinks its fine to bring nothing to the table. In fact some may think they have landed a sugar mama. Ladies use your words wisely.
Everyone has set backs in life. I’ve had more than I’d like to count but, I can’t date a guy who makes less than I do and has no plan, no ambition, no drive. There has to be a balance. If you’re working a mediocre job to make ends meet while you’re creating a business or pursuing your dream I can get behind that. There are some that are quite comfortable doing the bare minimum and get by in life. Kudos to them. I however can not date your no goal having ass. You only get one life to live why not be with someone you are equally yolked with. If you're not going to work hard at least work smart.
I have dated men who make less money than I do but, I must say there are levels to this. I learned a lot about myself. I had no idea how strongly I felt about certain gender roles. If I'm picking you up, paying for the outing, driving the conversation, taking you home... bruh. Yes as a human anyone is capable of doing any job if provided with the right skill set and training. I do believe that wholeheartedly. I also believe that a man should be able to provide... now I’m not saying he needs to be able to support an entire family by a certain age but, I am saying he needs to be able to provide for himself. This will allow him to be secure in himself and not a liability to me. Let’s face it, if you can’t take care of you how would you be able to take care of anyone else?
Just because a women raves about her independence does not mean you get to come into her life a drain her, emotionally, spiritually or financially. What are you providing her with? People are looking for partnerships with like minded individuals. Just because you choose to live a mediocre life doesn’t mean you can down play your partners dreams. Especially when they are working so hard to fulfill them. Misery loves company and I find that men who are financially secure are a lot more fun to date. Not just because they can treat you to nice dinners, but because they are in a space to experience wonderful things because they are secure with who they are. Most of them anyway.
I’m not saying you have to surpass my income or match it. I just want a guy who is financially responsible. You can’t spend your entire check treating me to things you can’t afford and then the next week you are asking to borrow money from me because you can’t buy lunch. That is just foolish and a total turn off. If you are in a position where your s/o is making more money than you don’t be a lump on a log. Make sure you are contributing in some form or fashion. Oprah is a billionaire and has been with Stedman for over 30yrs. If Oprah at the very least could not be mentally stimulated by him I’m sure he would have been gone a long time ago. I say all this to say be an asset not a liablity.