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Tales from the Single Relationship Expert: Is your "Type" Mr. /Mrs. Right?

Is your "Type" Mr./Mrs. Right?

Tall, Dark and Handsome with a college education, great sense of humor, financially stable, kind and ambitious AF. Oh yeah I definitely have a type. The problem is I don’t usually end up with my type and on the rare occasion I do, he’s not ready to commit, he's lying about something or wants not just my world but, the entire world to revolve around him oh and he’s a LEO. Say what you want about the zodiac…those personality traits are real.

So now that I’ve confessed about having a type how about you? If you do have a type my follow up question is do you end up with your type? I’ve had this discussion with many people and the answer is always the same. Either their type is bad for them or they are unaware they even have one. After your cousin brings the 5th 4’11” young lady, with the curly hair and big butt to the cookout you start to wonder. Is he dating everyone in her family or does he have a type? There are many character traits that we are drawn to once we get past the physical features of a person. Some are traits we wish we had more of ourselves and some are traits stemmed from child hood traumas we had no idea existed. Hear me out.

If you have a shy personality and the thought of introducing yourself to people gives you an anxiety attack, it’s not far-fetched for you to start dating a person that is outgoing, can pull the attention of any room and is vibrant. It could be a trait you’re hoping will rub off on you. They may encourage you to get out of your comfort zone and try new things. Or you can continuously date a homebody like yourself who enjoys a delicious bowl of Orville Redenbacher and binge watching a new Netflix series. Hey nothing wrong with like attracting like just make sure it’s a healthy like.

Then you have those who like heavier traits they don’t even realize are heavy until they keep noticing they are dating the same person with different professions, cultural backgrounds and tax brackets. You start to wonder why is everyone so vague when it comes to talking about themselves, why they constantly disappear in and out of your life and more importantly why the hell do you allow them to do so. Perhaps you grew up with an absentee parent that you know nothing about. So now you’re intrigued by vague people who never volunteer information. You don’t seem to mind at first because you are inquisitive so asking questions is no big deal. You want to know and you feel like they are opening up a little to you. They are confiding right this is great. How special are you? When in all actuality they have their own issues and are protecting themselves so they are following the "don’t ask don’t tell" policy you know nothing about.

At some point self-reflection has to kick in. You have to understand who you are as an individual and what characteristics you exude that will help you attract the right person for you. Not the person you think you want but the type of person that is equally yoked with you. Will they be trustworthy, God-fearing, love children, respect everyone’s mama, have common sense, business savvy, healthy mind, body and spirit and can they take a joke? Once you have healed, you will reach a new level of happiness. Of course you may still attract the broken but, you’re a light and it’s a gift and a curse. Hell honey is the sweetest thing and it attracts flies that have been sitting on poop most of their lives. It’s up to you to spot the ones who are going to help you shine brighter with their own glow or try to obtain a glow by draining your energy.

We have a list of what would make the the ideal person. There is nothing wrong with that but, remember if your “type” doesn’t work for you it’s because they were not genetically designed for you. Be wise not guarded. Pray on it and pray for your future partner. Every pot has a lid. Don’t just throw on anything because it’s close enough and will do the job. You deserve something secure that’s fits you perfect.

Comment below and let me know your thoughts!

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