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Tales from the Single Relationship Expert: 7 Signs It's Time to Call it Quits!

7 Signs It's Time To Call It Quits!

A question that I am asked often is, Shaunie How do I know when it’s time to break up? I always start my answer the same way. The gut never lies. Instincts are something we are born with. You can sense when you’re in a safe space vs a danger zone. Some of us choose to ignore this trusty ability so, here are 7 ways to know when it’s time to move on and be great!!

1) Abuse is always a no go in my book.

Whether it is mental, emotional or physical, it all equals disrespect. Loving someone doesn’t mean they can disrespect you in any form. Many people take advantage of their loved ones thinking no matter what I do they will always be there. They think it’s their birthright. When we allow them to mistreat us all we are doing is proving them right. Remember hurt people hurt people but, also remember that just because you have decided to be in a relationship with someone it doesn’t mean their shit is your shit. You have to heal before you start dating someone. I don’t know about you but, I did not spend all this time cleaning out dark corners of my space for you to fill it up with your crap. No sir, no ma’am, not taaaday! Love doesn’t hurt! I don’t care what people in long term secretly screwed up relationships tell you. It may not always be easy but, it does not hurt.

2) When there’s so much tension any little thing can start a fight.

“So, you’re just going to leave the popcorn in the microwave. That beeping is driving me crazy. How am I supposed to read? You’re so inconsiderate.” Wait what? When you first met you knew she liked to leave that popcorn in the microwave for a little while so it could cool off a bit. Now because you’re losing interest every little thing annoys you. Now the beeping is too loud, the popcorn stinks and she chews weird. Who wants to constantly argue all the time? People with issues that’s who. Deep rooted issues that may have nothing to do with you. They are not happy and the saying goes misery loves company so, there you have it. The constant bickering is a cover up for deeper issues. You can choose to get to the root of the problem and try to resolve or you can decide that you’re tired of this person draining you and it’s time to refill you cup until it runneth over elsewhere. It is not your job to make your partner happy and vice versa. Go where your popcorn is celebrated not tolerated.

3) When you find yourself Indulging in other things like work, friends & family or binge watching a show on HULU to avoid quality time with your s/o.

Omg how many times has your relationship been all kinds of screwed up so you take that energy and become the best employee ever? If every time that person calls or texts and you have to take a deep breath before you answer or there is a huge eye roll associated with this incoming message...guess who needs to disconnect. You are prolonging the inevitable. If your relationship makes you not want to go straight home or answer your phone, that is not the relationship for you. It happens every once in a while. Couples argue but, if the idea of being around your s/o produces anxiety, maybe you need to rethink this entire relationship.

4) Sex...either you have lost Interest or that’s the only thing keeping this union going.

Both are bad. It’s very easy for a woman to be turned off. Especially when you’re losing interest all together. A mannerism that was once so adorable now looks dumb and the idea of her partner touching her makes her throw up a little in her mouth. I’m sure guys get turned off too perhaps not as easily but, it certainly happens. Physical attraction is not always a good thing. Sometimes we give extra chances to someone who doesn’t deserve them just because they look good or the sex is great. Just remember looks fade and that hip may not be good forever so be with someone who has some substance and can still stimulate you in other ways i.e. mentally.

5) You no longer discuss the future.

Remember how you two use to talk about upcoming vacations, business ventures, families? Now you can’t even think about plans for next week let alone tomorrow. You have stopped including this person in your plans all together. If you no longer see a future with this person it’s time to move on. How much more of each other’s time are you looking to waste.

6) You start finding other people attractive and become flirtier.

It’s human nature to like things that are appeasing to the eye. When it comes to the matters of the heart though there’s a thin line between admiring beauty and wanting to know how beauty takes their coffee in the morning. Just saying. When you start to lose interest in your partner you often seek out characteristics in others that your partner may be lacking. Sometimes it is innocent and you may be unaware and sometimes you may try convincing yourself it’s more innocent than it really is which could ultimately lead to trouble. Someone may have some explaining to do.

7)Looking for a sign that tells you to stay.

Let’s keep it 100%, if you’re looking for a sign…that’s your sign. You have exhausted all logical reasoning and now you are relying a sign from the universe to tell you to move on and live your best life. Well, here’s a surprise. The signs have been hovering you all along and you made the choice to ignore them and now you are here reading. Always remember everything you need you were born with it. How you use your time and who you choose to spend it with are entirely up to you. The question is...are you using your time wisely so you can truly enjoy it?

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