Tales from the Single Relationship Expert: Boys are Intimidate Men are Inspired.

Boys are Intimidated Men are Inspired

I have to say I’m always interested in a guy’s response after I’ve told him that I have written a book. I seem to constantly get the same few responses which end up with me walking away thinking keep moving forward sis… Mr. Right will find you. He’s just in Africa right now and he’s walking slow…it’s hot.

Trust me when I say I thought about this after I wrote my book and even more so after I completed it. I in no way shape or form wanted guys to think I was a “know it all” when it came to relationships. I did not want them thinking they needed to be “Mr. Right”, even though they knew good and well they had work to do on themselves before they could achieve that title… with me anyway. I sure as hell didn’t want them to read my book and try so hard not to be any of the guys in the book that he ends up losing his identity and becomes a “yes” guy with no opinion and whose only thought is don’t mess up. Word to the wise…no one wants to be in a relationship with a person that just does whatever they say…unless they’re a controlling person. In cases like that good luck.

It seems to me that a mature man knows when he is truly ready to commit and build a life with his partner. A mature man knows that work and consistency are just a couple of ingredients needed to nail this recipe of long lasting love. A mature man also knows when he is not ready to commit and will be honest with who he is dating so they don’t get their hopes up and leaving with a broken heart. Is that wrong to believe this? Asking for a friend.

As a hopeless romantic and true believer in love, I know in my heart that there is someone for everyone. Your match, your equal, the ying to your yang, whatever you want to call your person all starts with being yourself…your TRUE self. Being your true self will allow you to become your best self. When you know who you are and have faced your demons, healed from your past and can speak your truth effortlessly, well my friend you have reached a stage in your life where doors fly open and blessings pour through. This is my current stage. The blessings are trickling in and I’m so excited for the next phase in my life. People will hate on the low or boldly…we all have choices, but what they fail to realize is what’s for you is for you and no one can stop it. I can tell you right now the way my focus meter is set up, you better be some kind of wonderful to get and keep my attention.

I say all this to say when I tell a guy I wrote a book his response almost instantly determines how much of my time he is allotted. Saying things like "I don't like to read", or "I haven't read a book since a teacher told me to" gets an instant eye roll and my hearing becomes impaired. I no longer worry if he will compare himself to the guys in my book and feel insecure. I don’t worry about him trying to find faults in me. I already know I’m not perfect, but I’m the best version of myself in this very moment. I don’t just love myself, I like myself. Boys would say I’m egotistical and would try to highlight all my flaws so he can feel good about his shortcomings. A mature man understands what I’m saying, because he too feels the same way about himself. He has healed from past experience and is living his best life every day. Cheers to Mr. Right! Steady pace wins the race…how many miles do you have left? Asking for a friend.

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