Tales from the Single Relationship Expert: Self-Love vs. Narcissism

Self-Love vs. Narcissism

How many times have you heard the phrase “Love yourself before you can love someone else?” Or how about “Love yourself first, so you know what you deserve?” Or my personal favorite “I love myself too much to deal with this bullshit?” I have used these terms many times in my life, the last one mostly when in a relationship with the wrong guy. What I have learned about the term is there is a very fine line between self-love and narcissism.

Now both involve loving yourself to no end but, we all know one attracts people and the other pushes people away. With all the attention drawn to living your best life, preserving your energy and aligning your Chakras; self-love plays a part in it all. I mean how else are you supposed to become the best version of yourself right? Hmmm…

There is a lot of power in self-love, but when it is misused it becomes tainted i.e. narcissism. If you love yourself so much that it makes you use the term aggressively, provides verbal defensiveness or worse makes you lack empathy; then my dear you self-love all wrong.

Self-love should not be used as a weapon to repel people. We all need human contact and human connection. Nor should it be used as a means for attention seeking, belittling others or using victimhood as a tool for manipulation. A tainted self-love will have your loving behind all alone at 70 with no friends and no one to talk to.

So let’s use self-love the way it was intended. To help let go of things that are bad for you, to find out what you’re really good at, to know you are enough, to create a happy place, and most importantly to help you be of service to others. I mean have you been on an airplane? You have to secure your oxygen mask first before you assist others…just saying. Self-love allows you to create an over flow of love that will allow you to give without draining yourself or worse losing yourself in the process. It also aids in being a decent human being. So remember love yourself the right way you never know who you are inspiring.

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